Chapter 1
Aro was ridiculously pleased to see Edward and Bella when they arrived. One of his bodyguards ushered them passed the hidden doorway and through the golden doors Bella had noticed at the end of the hallway during her last trip to Volterra. It was the work of only a minute for Edward to convince Aro to let him be the one to change Bella.
“Of course, of course! After seeing how her blood calls to you, I could hardly deny you the chance,” he said, all generosity. And then he’d clapped his hands and another of his bodyguards had shown them to a room on the next floor. The door was loudly locked behind them, and they stood, Edward staring at Bella, and Bella staring at the door.
After an uncomfortable moment, Bella turned to him. “He thinks you’ll kill me and the treaty will be worthless. Jane is still in Forks, isn’t she?”
Edward had gathered exactly that information from Aro’s mind, and he was impressed with Bella’s insight. “Yes,” he admitted quietly. He knew he had the strength to do this. He’d done it before, after all, when he’d removed James’ venom from her hand. But that had been so long ago, and he’d breached her trust since then, abandoning her when she was most vulnerable. He searched her face for any trace of fear, but couldn’t trust his conclusion. Perhaps she was just much better at hiding such things, these days. Or perhaps she was so different that he wouldn’t recognize it if he saw it.
Bella sighed and looked around, finding her suitcase at the foot of the bed in the next room. She changed into pajamas that she didn’t remember buying, unwilling to thrash about in the blue jeans and top Alice had designated as ‘flying clothes.’ “The sooner we do this, the sooner it’s over,” she said over her shoulder, when she’d finished. She was looking pensively at an illuminated painting of a vineyard when he came through the door. The room had no windows.
He paused, wondering if he wanted to know what she was thinking. Her life was over. He was going to take it from her, and her soul as well. He wondered how much she hated him right now. He certainly hated himself. But then she spun on her heel and glared at him. “You aren’t going to ask, are you? What have you decided I’m thinking about?” she demanded.
Edward looked down in embarrassment. She had him. He heard her take a deep breath and risked looking up at her through his lashes. It had no discernable affect. She spoke in a normal tone. “I wish they hadn’t locked you in here. I wish you didn’t have to sit through this. It’ll probably be worse for you than for me,” she said quietly – telling him her thoughts even though he hadn’t asked.
“It won’t.” His voice was grim with the memory of his own transformation. As if he would leave her alone to face that! “But I wish it could be.” He lifted his head at the end to see her expression softening. He reached out a hand, and she walked back towards him to take it. He saw her swallow and try to smile.
Bella piled up the pillows on the bed and seated herself against them. She was surprised how calm she was as Edward sat down, putting a hand on the other side of her waist to lean over her. He looked apologetic. She thought sadly about how happy this would have made them both, years before. This was certainly not the atmosphere that it would have been then.
Edward looked into her eyes and saw the sadness, but he knew better than to ask if she was sure. One thing he had learned about Bella Black in the last few days was that she would do anything for her family. He pictured her again, leaning forward over the roaring motorcycle as it skidded to a stop. Her own safety – her own pain – was still the least of her worries. “Are you ready?” he asked instead.
“It doesn’t really matter if I am,” she replied honestly. “Jane is just waiting for Aro’s word that the treaty is nullified to go kill everyone I know. It’s time.”
Edward nodded and leaned toward her. For a long moment she thought he was going to kiss her, but he lowered his head and his chill lips grazed her neck, instead, breathing in the scent of her skin, of her blood. She lifted her chin, feeling her heartbeat speed up. She braced herself for the pain, but it didn’t come. She felt his lips again, a little lower. For an instant, her heart stopped altogether. It occurred to her that she might not be as immune to him as she’d thought – as she felt was proper, all things considered.
“Will you tell me why?” he whispered against her skin, and she knew immediately what he meant. He couldn’t tell if she was reacting to his kisses, or only the fear of his venom. At least he’d asked this time, instead of assuming. She was determined to reward him with absolute honesty.
“I’m a little embarrassed to admit that feels nice. Also, I wasn’t expecting it. I was preparing myself for the fire.”
Edward closed his eyes and allowed himself a slight smile. Maybe there was still hope. At least she was honest. He placed an open-mouthed kiss on her collarbone and felt her shiver. “This time will be the bite,” he warned. She tensed again as, carefully, his lips found the pulsing vein in her throat, and sealed themselves around it. He paused for half a second to gauge his own readiness, and then carefully bit down.
Bella whimpered, and her hands came up to grasp his forearms. He barely felt it, though she couldn’t possibly have squeezed any tighter. He remembered perfectly how her blood had tasted the last time, but that was nothing to tasting it again. His mind registered when it was time to pull away, but he drank a moment longer anyway, then forced his lips away and pressed his thumb over the bite. The venom would seal the wound almost instantly. He sat up to look at her, wiping a drop of blood from his lower lip with his thumb. He realized he was panting with the effort it had taken him to stop.
Bella had her teeth firmly clenched together, and there was agony in her eyes already. But she hadn’t screamed yet. Rosalie had told her it did no good, so she thought she might not bother. She would only hurt her throat. For as long as such things were able to cause her pain.
She dimly heard Edward whisper a strangled apology. Then his face left her line of sight, and she felt the fire start at her left wrist, and then her right. He’d broken her hold on his arms like it was nothing. When he sank his teeth into the main artery to her left leg, she screamed in spite of herself.
Edward was relieved, but he winced at the sound anyway. At least Aro would know immediately that he hadn’t failed. The treaty would hold. Quickly, he injected as much venom into her right leg as possible, putting just enough pressure on it to let the wound seal before he released her. He didn’t want to touch her at all, as it would only increase the pain she was feeling. But she reached for his hand, and he let her take it, because he honestly couldn’t deny her anything. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again, knowing she would never hear him over her own screams.
Bella only screamed for a few hours before she fell silent, gritting her teeth. “Rosalie was right,” she gasped. “Sc - screaming doesn’t help.” Then she held her breath. She held it so long she completely passed out. That helped. Edward stared at her for a moment in disbelief. He’d never, ever heard of ANYONE being unconscious for any part of the transformation.
Then he chuckled darkly to himself. Bella was one of a kind. Her hand was still gripping his tightly, her body still tense. But she was breathing deeply and evenly now. He took the opportunity to gently push her hair away from where sweat had stuck it to her temples, the most he’d been able to touch her since carrying her to the house.
He was relieved she was missing at least some of the pain. He doubted it would be long before she awoke, but hoped for a few hours at least. He had thought that hell on earth was knowing that she was married to Jacob Black. But at least during that time, she’d been safe and happy. Hearing her scream, knowing HE had made her scream in agony – THAT was hell on earth. He closed his eyes, held her hand and waited.
When her screams fell to whimpers, she saw Edward turn away from the vineyard painting. She closed her eyes as he sat down again beside her. For the better part of three days he’d been sitting in exactly that posture, but before her most recent screaming episode, she’d asked him through clenched teeth to please look the other way. She couldn’t stand the guilt in his eyes.
When her whimpers ceased entirely, and her body began to relax, she felt his hand in her damp hair. She opened her eyes. Carefully, she raised her own hands and noticed how much clearer her vision was. She glittered, even in the dimly lit room. She could see every facet of her own fingers. She glanced at Edward – more quickly than he was used to – and caught him staring at the bracelet that still adorned her left wrist. Or maybe he was looking at her rings. She wasn’t sure, but she could sense his embarrassment as he looked away.
She studied his face anyway. There was something different about it. His eyes were the same dark ochre she recalled from before her transformation, but there was more to see in them. “Look at me,” she commanded curiously, noting the crystalline quality of her own voice only dimly as he looked up again.
She reached out a hand and caught his jaw, forcing his eyes to hers, and squinted. There was something different. Or – not different, but more visible than she expected. Something she’d always known was there. Jacob’s words came back to her. You see souls… She shivered and let him go, looking away.
“Can you hear my thoughts?” she asked, covering her own discomfort.
“No. You will always be a mystery to me,” he replied, partially amused, but mostly sad.
“Not always. I will just have to be very honest.” Bella smiled. It wasn’t much like the smiles Edward remembered – it didn’t quite reach her eyes, but it was the first non-miserable expression he’d seen on her face yet. He couldn’t help but quirk a smile back at her, and when her completely unnecessary breathing caught for a moment, he full out grinned.
Bella kept her eyes on him and forced herself to breathe. It was easier than it had been as a human. She had intended to tell him immediately about her newfound ability, but something else caught her attention in that moment. “What stinks?” she asked, wrinkling her nose. One of her hands strayed to her stomach, which shouldn’t be capable, anymore, of feeling like she was trying to keep down her last meal.
Edward grimaced. His whole body tensed as if he expected to have to restrain her at any moment. “Are you thirsty?” he asked resignedly.
Bella cocked her head, considering. “Yes. But something reeks in here! It’s turning my stomach.”
She met his worried eyes with confusion. Why did he look so concerned? And then, suddenly, he was laughing. She hadn’t heard him laugh in more years than she cared to count. It was a beautiful sound but astoundingly loud – so loud that she was sure it would have injured her ears if she’d still been human. As it was, it sounded joyous to her, like a deep gong ringing through the tower. She shook her head bemusedly, wondering how she’d been unintentionally funny this time.
A knock sounded at the door, and she heard it in spite of the ruckus Edward was making. He shot up from the bed and grasped her hands, pulling her to her feet. “You answer it,” he said, still grinning.
Bella had never been one to care much about her clothes, but she rolled her eyes as he pulled her to the door in her sweat-stained pajamas. It didn’t bother her enough to prevent her from following, however. “Come in,” she said. She and Edward waited, their hands clasped together, while someone unlocked the door. Bella shrugged and blurred as she moved to open it before anyone else could. She smiled again, as one of Aro’s bodyguards stumbled over the threshold, the door handle having been wrenched from his grip. He hastily stepped back so that Aro, already laughing, could precede him into the room.
“Oh ha ha ha!” Aro looked back and forth between Bella and Edward. He offered Bella his hand, as if she should shake it, and she raised her own to take it, while Edward smirked. He knew it was pointless of Aro to hope that the transformation had opened her mind to either of them. Aro immediately shook his head and released her.
“Welcome to the family, my dear,” he said warmly. Bella’s smile fell. This was not her family. She had left all of her family in Forks. Charlie, the boys, the pack, and the Cullens. She met Aro’s eyes calmly, however, knowing that this was the price she paid for their safety. It was worth it.
And then, as she gazed brazenly at him, she noticed it. The sheer timelessness of his soul took her breath away. She took an involuntary step backward, blinking.
“Are you alright?” he asked, and she could see in his eyes that his concern was real. She recovered quickly. Years of hiding other people’s secrets were going to pay off for her now. He would have to know, eventually, but she wanted to tell Edward first. It seemed only fair.
“I feel a little sick to my stomach, to be honest,” she said, confusion tingeing her voice. “I didn’t think that was possible. I don’t remember Edward ever feeling sick.”
“Do you taste the venom?” Aro asked, and a wickedness crept into his tone.
“No. I don’t taste anything. But I smell something vile. Like – rust, and salt…” she trailed off, her eyes widening in sudden comprehension. She spun so fast Aro’s old eyes could hardly follow the movement, and she was looking at Edward, her face full of shock. “I can’t possibly still be sickened by blood!” she exclaimed worriedly.
Edward was clearly holding back laughter. He turned to Aro to explain. “Bella, as a human, could smell human blood. It made her pass out. I had to carry her to the nurse’s office the day the Biology class did blood typing, and she hadn’t even pricked her own finger. I didn’t think it was possible for a human to smell blood, especially in such small quantities, but she could describe it perfectly. It seems she isn’t going to be swayed by the room you’ve offered her,” he added, his voice tightening.
“I don’t understand,” Bella said at once, turning back to Aro. He looked both shocked and uncomfortable. As if he’d forgotten that Edward would know what he was up to when he placed Bella in this room for her transformation, though of course, it was impossible for him to have forgotten anything. He didn’t reply.
“Aro thought that he could tempt you from the diet you’ve chosen if he gave you the quarters directly above their feeding room. He made sure there would be humans present today, so that you couldn’t help but smell them.”
Bella heard the anger in Edward’s voice, but she knew this was exactly the sort of tactic Aro would try. She could see it through his eyes. His was a crafty soul. Gunmetal gray, ancient, and only barely disguised by the cloudy red of his eyes. At least, only barely disguised to HER vision. She turned back to him and smiled as naturally as she could manage. As if his diet and way of life didn’t thoroughly disgust her.
“I can’t possibly live in this room. I’d feel ill all the time. Isn’t there anywhere else I can stay?” She shamelessly fluttered her eyelashes at him, as she’d done to Jacob during her first trip to La Push with her high school crowd. The memory of it made her heart ache, but she didn’t let it show in her face. Aro caved as quickly and easily as Jacob had done.
“Of course, my dear. Imagine! You must be the only vampire in the history of the world to dislike the scent of human blood! I wonder how you will react to Edward’s diet. I should think all blood smells quite similar. What will we do if you can’t feed at all?” he joked weakly.
“Actually, it’s remarkably different,” Edward contradicted him, smiling again. Bella looked at him gratefully, pleased he was able to control his anger. She recalled his temper very clearly, though it had never been directed at her. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. But it probably would be prudent for me to take her hunting tonight,” he added. He drank in the expression she directed at him. This, he could do for her. After all he’d put her through, for her to look pleased with him for any reason was a miracle, in his opinion. And a welcome one. He stared at her, realizing she was holding his gaze much longer than was strictly normal.
“What time is it?” Bella asked after a moment, turning back to Aro. In a room with no windows, writhing about on the bed in agony, she had not managed to keep track of the hours. And hunting sounded good.
“Almost noon,” Aro replied, amused. Then he turned slightly. “Take her things upstairs to the vacant room, and Edward’s as well. Give him the room across from it.” One of his bodyguards stepped forward.
The man looked at him with his jaw locked. “That’s Demetri’s room,” he reminded Aro unnecessarily. As if he might not already know it.
Aro only looked at him mildly until he complied. Bella watched the man through hooded eyes, afraid of what she might see if she caught a glimpse of his soul. She imagined it was as dark as the gray cloak he wore, and far more malignant. She suppressed a shudder, and realized how simple it was. Her new body was far easier to control than her old. No more blushes, or unconscious reactions. And Jacob had thought her a good liar before. Any pleasantness in her expression vanished with that thought, and she turned her eyes back to Aro, braced, this time, for the glimpse into his soul.
Aro was gesturing for her to follow him so she did, and she could hear Edward moving behind her. She had never heard his steps before. They were whisper soft, even now, but she reveled in the thought that he wouldn’t be able to sneak up on her anymore.
When Bella was finally alone in her new room, she peeled off the pajamas she’d worn. She stood, nude, at the foot of her completely unnecessary bed and held them for a moment, then launched them toward the garbage can. They hit the inside rim and went in, but the can tipped over from the force of it. She grimaced, righted it, and found the bathroom. Without glancing into it, she lifted the huge mirror from the wall and turned it around, placing it back in the archaic brass holders backwards, promising herself she’d dispose of it as soon as possible.
Sweat had dried on her skin, and her hair was still damp with it. She desperately needed a shower. She marveled at the feel of everything that touched her. Water, soap, and her own hands. She didn’t feel cold, but EVERYTHING felt slightly warm against her skin, except her hands.
She dug through her bag to find something to wear. The clothing she’d been wearing on her last day in La Push was on top, and she set it carefully aside, her nose slightly wrinkled. Werewolves DID smell awful, but at least they didn’t make her stomach feel queasy like humans. And in spite of the burning in her nose, the smell was comforting, somehow. She wondered if there was some way to preserve it, then shook her head, realizing the silliness of the thought. She forced her eyes to slide passed the blood on those jeans, and then changed her mind and stared at it. Finally she picked the whole outfit up and put it in the bottom drawer of the antique dresser that stood on the opposite wall, determining to get a trunk or something to put them in later.
She put on the very next articles of clothing she found, and tossed everything else into the first four drawers haphazardly. That complete, she turned her attention to the box of blank journals. In the sitting room there was a small desk, a television, and a leather couch that reminded her very much of the squishy armchairs she’d purchased for her bookstore, a lifetime ago, it now seemed. She turned her back on the couch to sit down at the desk with a journal in her hand, and found herself a pen in the first drawer.
And then she wrote. She put her pen all the way through the first several pages, tearing them, when she first began. She ripped them out and threw them away, beginning again and again. It took several tries to determine just how much pressure she could safely put on the pen to keep from destroying the paper.
She was thrilled that she could still remember her life in Forks in such detail. Clearly human memories didn’t fade immediately. She made sure to write even what she’d thought and felt at the time, knowing that one day she would need this reminder. She would memorize her life all over again, as soon as she realized it was slipping away. In this way, she would make sure she never lost Jacob or little Charlie or Will. She would remember everything about them.
She also never wanted to lose the wonder of her first days with Edward. She’d finished seven journals about her life with Jacob – everything consequential that had happened since the moment of his return until the day he’d died – and had only just begun to write the true beginning of the story, her first days in Forks, when someone knocked at her door. She hadn’t been paying close enough attention to hear their approach.
“Come in.”
Edward opened the door hesitantly. He had spent the remainder of the day wishing she would come to him before it was time to hunt. She had not. He could see plainly what she’d spent the time doing, and he felt a little foolish. It was only natural that she would be mourning Jacob Black, but that hadn’t prevented him from hoping that she would seek him out. He would have liked the opportunity to comfort her in whatever small way he could. He looked at the stack of books and forced a smile. “You’ve been busy. Do you think you have time to learn to hunt?” he teased lightly.
“Important vampire skill,” she returned with mock seriousness, closing the journal in front of her. “I suppose I could make time.” She smiled at him, but he was still looking wistfully at the completed journals. “Edward, eventually, you can read those,” she said quietly. His head snapped around, then, and he couldn’t keep the surprise from his face. “Not yet,” she clarified quickly. “But someday – when it doesn’t hurt so much.” She knew she would heal. That the pain in her heart would fade, and she and Edward would be together, then. Maybe it would even be a lot like it had been before, if he could stand to stick around until then. But in the meantime, giving him permission to read those books would only hurt them both.
“You can read this one tomorrow, if you want,” she added, tapping the one she’d been working on when he came in. “I just got to the Italian restaurant in Port Angeles.” She smiled again. Edward smiled, too, and held out a hand. She took it, and he led her down into the deserted streets of Volterra. They scaled the city wall, Bella trying out her newfound strength for the first time, and then they ran through the woods side by side, beginning the hunt.
Chapter 3
Aro was ridiculously pleased to see Edward and Bella when they arrived. One of his bodyguards ushered them passed the hidden doorway and through the golden doors Bella had noticed at the end of the hallway during her last trip to Volterra. It was the work of only a minute for Edward to convince Aro to let him be the one to change Bella.
“Of course, of course! After seeing how her blood calls to you, I could hardly deny you the chance,” he said, all generosity. And then he’d clapped his hands and another of his bodyguards had shown them to a room on the next floor. The door was loudly locked behind them, and they stood, Edward staring at Bella, and Bella staring at the door.
After an uncomfortable moment, Bella turned to him. “He thinks you’ll kill me and the treaty will be worthless. Jane is still in Forks, isn’t she?”
Edward had gathered exactly that information from Aro’s mind, and he was impressed with Bella’s insight. “Yes,” he admitted quietly. He knew he had the strength to do this. He’d done it before, after all, when he’d removed James’ venom from her hand. But that had been so long ago, and he’d breached her trust since then, abandoning her when she was most vulnerable. He searched her face for any trace of fear, but couldn’t trust his conclusion. Perhaps she was just much better at hiding such things, these days. Or perhaps she was so different that he wouldn’t recognize it if he saw it.
Bella sighed and looked around, finding her suitcase at the foot of the bed in the next room. She changed into pajamas that she didn’t remember buying, unwilling to thrash about in the blue jeans and top Alice had designated as ‘flying clothes.’ “The sooner we do this, the sooner it’s over,” she said over her shoulder, when she’d finished. She was looking pensively at an illuminated painting of a vineyard when he came through the door. The room had no windows.
He paused, wondering if he wanted to know what she was thinking. Her life was over. He was going to take it from her, and her soul as well. He wondered how much she hated him right now. He certainly hated himself. But then she spun on her heel and glared at him. “You aren’t going to ask, are you? What have you decided I’m thinking about?” she demanded.
Edward looked down in embarrassment. She had him. He heard her take a deep breath and risked looking up at her through his lashes. It had no discernable affect. She spoke in a normal tone. “I wish they hadn’t locked you in here. I wish you didn’t have to sit through this. It’ll probably be worse for you than for me,” she said quietly – telling him her thoughts even though he hadn’t asked.
“It won’t.” His voice was grim with the memory of his own transformation. As if he would leave her alone to face that! “But I wish it could be.” He lifted his head at the end to see her expression softening. He reached out a hand, and she walked back towards him to take it. He saw her swallow and try to smile.
Bella piled up the pillows on the bed and seated herself against them. She was surprised how calm she was as Edward sat down, putting a hand on the other side of her waist to lean over her. He looked apologetic. She thought sadly about how happy this would have made them both, years before. This was certainly not the atmosphere that it would have been then.
Edward looked into her eyes and saw the sadness, but he knew better than to ask if she was sure. One thing he had learned about Bella Black in the last few days was that she would do anything for her family. He pictured her again, leaning forward over the roaring motorcycle as it skidded to a stop. Her own safety – her own pain – was still the least of her worries. “Are you ready?” he asked instead.
“It doesn’t really matter if I am,” she replied honestly. “Jane is just waiting for Aro’s word that the treaty is nullified to go kill everyone I know. It’s time.”
Edward nodded and leaned toward her. For a long moment she thought he was going to kiss her, but he lowered his head and his chill lips grazed her neck, instead, breathing in the scent of her skin, of her blood. She lifted her chin, feeling her heartbeat speed up. She braced herself for the pain, but it didn’t come. She felt his lips again, a little lower. For an instant, her heart stopped altogether. It occurred to her that she might not be as immune to him as she’d thought – as she felt was proper, all things considered.
“Will you tell me why?” he whispered against her skin, and she knew immediately what he meant. He couldn’t tell if she was reacting to his kisses, or only the fear of his venom. At least he’d asked this time, instead of assuming. She was determined to reward him with absolute honesty.
“I’m a little embarrassed to admit that feels nice. Also, I wasn’t expecting it. I was preparing myself for the fire.”
Edward closed his eyes and allowed himself a slight smile. Maybe there was still hope. At least she was honest. He placed an open-mouthed kiss on her collarbone and felt her shiver. “This time will be the bite,” he warned. She tensed again as, carefully, his lips found the pulsing vein in her throat, and sealed themselves around it. He paused for half a second to gauge his own readiness, and then carefully bit down.
Bella whimpered, and her hands came up to grasp his forearms. He barely felt it, though she couldn’t possibly have squeezed any tighter. He remembered perfectly how her blood had tasted the last time, but that was nothing to tasting it again. His mind registered when it was time to pull away, but he drank a moment longer anyway, then forced his lips away and pressed his thumb over the bite. The venom would seal the wound almost instantly. He sat up to look at her, wiping a drop of blood from his lower lip with his thumb. He realized he was panting with the effort it had taken him to stop.
Bella had her teeth firmly clenched together, and there was agony in her eyes already. But she hadn’t screamed yet. Rosalie had told her it did no good, so she thought she might not bother. She would only hurt her throat. For as long as such things were able to cause her pain.
She dimly heard Edward whisper a strangled apology. Then his face left her line of sight, and she felt the fire start at her left wrist, and then her right. He’d broken her hold on his arms like it was nothing. When he sank his teeth into the main artery to her left leg, she screamed in spite of herself.
Edward was relieved, but he winced at the sound anyway. At least Aro would know immediately that he hadn’t failed. The treaty would hold. Quickly, he injected as much venom into her right leg as possible, putting just enough pressure on it to let the wound seal before he released her. He didn’t want to touch her at all, as it would only increase the pain she was feeling. But she reached for his hand, and he let her take it, because he honestly couldn’t deny her anything. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again, knowing she would never hear him over her own screams.
Bella only screamed for a few hours before she fell silent, gritting her teeth. “Rosalie was right,” she gasped. “Sc - screaming doesn’t help.” Then she held her breath. She held it so long she completely passed out. That helped. Edward stared at her for a moment in disbelief. He’d never, ever heard of ANYONE being unconscious for any part of the transformation.
Then he chuckled darkly to himself. Bella was one of a kind. Her hand was still gripping his tightly, her body still tense. But she was breathing deeply and evenly now. He took the opportunity to gently push her hair away from where sweat had stuck it to her temples, the most he’d been able to touch her since carrying her to the house.
He was relieved she was missing at least some of the pain. He doubted it would be long before she awoke, but hoped for a few hours at least. He had thought that hell on earth was knowing that she was married to Jacob Black. But at least during that time, she’d been safe and happy. Hearing her scream, knowing HE had made her scream in agony – THAT was hell on earth. He closed his eyes, held her hand and waited.
When her screams fell to whimpers, she saw Edward turn away from the vineyard painting. She closed her eyes as he sat down again beside her. For the better part of three days he’d been sitting in exactly that posture, but before her most recent screaming episode, she’d asked him through clenched teeth to please look the other way. She couldn’t stand the guilt in his eyes.
When her whimpers ceased entirely, and her body began to relax, she felt his hand in her damp hair. She opened her eyes. Carefully, she raised her own hands and noticed how much clearer her vision was. She glittered, even in the dimly lit room. She could see every facet of her own fingers. She glanced at Edward – more quickly than he was used to – and caught him staring at the bracelet that still adorned her left wrist. Or maybe he was looking at her rings. She wasn’t sure, but she could sense his embarrassment as he looked away.
She studied his face anyway. There was something different about it. His eyes were the same dark ochre she recalled from before her transformation, but there was more to see in them. “Look at me,” she commanded curiously, noting the crystalline quality of her own voice only dimly as he looked up again.
She reached out a hand and caught his jaw, forcing his eyes to hers, and squinted. There was something different. Or – not different, but more visible than she expected. Something she’d always known was there. Jacob’s words came back to her. You see souls… She shivered and let him go, looking away.
“Can you hear my thoughts?” she asked, covering her own discomfort.
“No. You will always be a mystery to me,” he replied, partially amused, but mostly sad.
“Not always. I will just have to be very honest.” Bella smiled. It wasn’t much like the smiles Edward remembered – it didn’t quite reach her eyes, but it was the first non-miserable expression he’d seen on her face yet. He couldn’t help but quirk a smile back at her, and when her completely unnecessary breathing caught for a moment, he full out grinned.
Bella kept her eyes on him and forced herself to breathe. It was easier than it had been as a human. She had intended to tell him immediately about her newfound ability, but something else caught her attention in that moment. “What stinks?” she asked, wrinkling her nose. One of her hands strayed to her stomach, which shouldn’t be capable, anymore, of feeling like she was trying to keep down her last meal.
Edward grimaced. His whole body tensed as if he expected to have to restrain her at any moment. “Are you thirsty?” he asked resignedly.
Bella cocked her head, considering. “Yes. But something reeks in here! It’s turning my stomach.”
She met his worried eyes with confusion. Why did he look so concerned? And then, suddenly, he was laughing. She hadn’t heard him laugh in more years than she cared to count. It was a beautiful sound but astoundingly loud – so loud that she was sure it would have injured her ears if she’d still been human. As it was, it sounded joyous to her, like a deep gong ringing through the tower. She shook her head bemusedly, wondering how she’d been unintentionally funny this time.
A knock sounded at the door, and she heard it in spite of the ruckus Edward was making. He shot up from the bed and grasped her hands, pulling her to her feet. “You answer it,” he said, still grinning.
Bella had never been one to care much about her clothes, but she rolled her eyes as he pulled her to the door in her sweat-stained pajamas. It didn’t bother her enough to prevent her from following, however. “Come in,” she said. She and Edward waited, their hands clasped together, while someone unlocked the door. Bella shrugged and blurred as she moved to open it before anyone else could. She smiled again, as one of Aro’s bodyguards stumbled over the threshold, the door handle having been wrenched from his grip. He hastily stepped back so that Aro, already laughing, could precede him into the room.
“Oh ha ha ha!” Aro looked back and forth between Bella and Edward. He offered Bella his hand, as if she should shake it, and she raised her own to take it, while Edward smirked. He knew it was pointless of Aro to hope that the transformation had opened her mind to either of them. Aro immediately shook his head and released her.
“Welcome to the family, my dear,” he said warmly. Bella’s smile fell. This was not her family. She had left all of her family in Forks. Charlie, the boys, the pack, and the Cullens. She met Aro’s eyes calmly, however, knowing that this was the price she paid for their safety. It was worth it.
And then, as she gazed brazenly at him, she noticed it. The sheer timelessness of his soul took her breath away. She took an involuntary step backward, blinking.
“Are you alright?” he asked, and she could see in his eyes that his concern was real. She recovered quickly. Years of hiding other people’s secrets were going to pay off for her now. He would have to know, eventually, but she wanted to tell Edward first. It seemed only fair.
“I feel a little sick to my stomach, to be honest,” she said, confusion tingeing her voice. “I didn’t think that was possible. I don’t remember Edward ever feeling sick.”
“Do you taste the venom?” Aro asked, and a wickedness crept into his tone.
“No. I don’t taste anything. But I smell something vile. Like – rust, and salt…” she trailed off, her eyes widening in sudden comprehension. She spun so fast Aro’s old eyes could hardly follow the movement, and she was looking at Edward, her face full of shock. “I can’t possibly still be sickened by blood!” she exclaimed worriedly.
Edward was clearly holding back laughter. He turned to Aro to explain. “Bella, as a human, could smell human blood. It made her pass out. I had to carry her to the nurse’s office the day the Biology class did blood typing, and she hadn’t even pricked her own finger. I didn’t think it was possible for a human to smell blood, especially in such small quantities, but she could describe it perfectly. It seems she isn’t going to be swayed by the room you’ve offered her,” he added, his voice tightening.
“I don’t understand,” Bella said at once, turning back to Aro. He looked both shocked and uncomfortable. As if he’d forgotten that Edward would know what he was up to when he placed Bella in this room for her transformation, though of course, it was impossible for him to have forgotten anything. He didn’t reply.
“Aro thought that he could tempt you from the diet you’ve chosen if he gave you the quarters directly above their feeding room. He made sure there would be humans present today, so that you couldn’t help but smell them.”
Bella heard the anger in Edward’s voice, but she knew this was exactly the sort of tactic Aro would try. She could see it through his eyes. His was a crafty soul. Gunmetal gray, ancient, and only barely disguised by the cloudy red of his eyes. At least, only barely disguised to HER vision. She turned back to him and smiled as naturally as she could manage. As if his diet and way of life didn’t thoroughly disgust her.
“I can’t possibly live in this room. I’d feel ill all the time. Isn’t there anywhere else I can stay?” She shamelessly fluttered her eyelashes at him, as she’d done to Jacob during her first trip to La Push with her high school crowd. The memory of it made her heart ache, but she didn’t let it show in her face. Aro caved as quickly and easily as Jacob had done.
“Of course, my dear. Imagine! You must be the only vampire in the history of the world to dislike the scent of human blood! I wonder how you will react to Edward’s diet. I should think all blood smells quite similar. What will we do if you can’t feed at all?” he joked weakly.
“Actually, it’s remarkably different,” Edward contradicted him, smiling again. Bella looked at him gratefully, pleased he was able to control his anger. She recalled his temper very clearly, though it had never been directed at her. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. But it probably would be prudent for me to take her hunting tonight,” he added. He drank in the expression she directed at him. This, he could do for her. After all he’d put her through, for her to look pleased with him for any reason was a miracle, in his opinion. And a welcome one. He stared at her, realizing she was holding his gaze much longer than was strictly normal.
“What time is it?” Bella asked after a moment, turning back to Aro. In a room with no windows, writhing about on the bed in agony, she had not managed to keep track of the hours. And hunting sounded good.
“Almost noon,” Aro replied, amused. Then he turned slightly. “Take her things upstairs to the vacant room, and Edward’s as well. Give him the room across from it.” One of his bodyguards stepped forward.
The man looked at him with his jaw locked. “That’s Demetri’s room,” he reminded Aro unnecessarily. As if he might not already know it.
Aro only looked at him mildly until he complied. Bella watched the man through hooded eyes, afraid of what she might see if she caught a glimpse of his soul. She imagined it was as dark as the gray cloak he wore, and far more malignant. She suppressed a shudder, and realized how simple it was. Her new body was far easier to control than her old. No more blushes, or unconscious reactions. And Jacob had thought her a good liar before. Any pleasantness in her expression vanished with that thought, and she turned her eyes back to Aro, braced, this time, for the glimpse into his soul.
Aro was gesturing for her to follow him so she did, and she could hear Edward moving behind her. She had never heard his steps before. They were whisper soft, even now, but she reveled in the thought that he wouldn’t be able to sneak up on her anymore.
When Bella was finally alone in her new room, she peeled off the pajamas she’d worn. She stood, nude, at the foot of her completely unnecessary bed and held them for a moment, then launched them toward the garbage can. They hit the inside rim and went in, but the can tipped over from the force of it. She grimaced, righted it, and found the bathroom. Without glancing into it, she lifted the huge mirror from the wall and turned it around, placing it back in the archaic brass holders backwards, promising herself she’d dispose of it as soon as possible.
Sweat had dried on her skin, and her hair was still damp with it. She desperately needed a shower. She marveled at the feel of everything that touched her. Water, soap, and her own hands. She didn’t feel cold, but EVERYTHING felt slightly warm against her skin, except her hands.
She dug through her bag to find something to wear. The clothing she’d been wearing on her last day in La Push was on top, and she set it carefully aside, her nose slightly wrinkled. Werewolves DID smell awful, but at least they didn’t make her stomach feel queasy like humans. And in spite of the burning in her nose, the smell was comforting, somehow. She wondered if there was some way to preserve it, then shook her head, realizing the silliness of the thought. She forced her eyes to slide passed the blood on those jeans, and then changed her mind and stared at it. Finally she picked the whole outfit up and put it in the bottom drawer of the antique dresser that stood on the opposite wall, determining to get a trunk or something to put them in later.
She put on the very next articles of clothing she found, and tossed everything else into the first four drawers haphazardly. That complete, she turned her attention to the box of blank journals. In the sitting room there was a small desk, a television, and a leather couch that reminded her very much of the squishy armchairs she’d purchased for her bookstore, a lifetime ago, it now seemed. She turned her back on the couch to sit down at the desk with a journal in her hand, and found herself a pen in the first drawer.
And then she wrote. She put her pen all the way through the first several pages, tearing them, when she first began. She ripped them out and threw them away, beginning again and again. It took several tries to determine just how much pressure she could safely put on the pen to keep from destroying the paper.
She was thrilled that she could still remember her life in Forks in such detail. Clearly human memories didn’t fade immediately. She made sure to write even what she’d thought and felt at the time, knowing that one day she would need this reminder. She would memorize her life all over again, as soon as she realized it was slipping away. In this way, she would make sure she never lost Jacob or little Charlie or Will. She would remember everything about them.
She also never wanted to lose the wonder of her first days with Edward. She’d finished seven journals about her life with Jacob – everything consequential that had happened since the moment of his return until the day he’d died – and had only just begun to write the true beginning of the story, her first days in Forks, when someone knocked at her door. She hadn’t been paying close enough attention to hear their approach.
“Come in.”
Edward opened the door hesitantly. He had spent the remainder of the day wishing she would come to him before it was time to hunt. She had not. He could see plainly what she’d spent the time doing, and he felt a little foolish. It was only natural that she would be mourning Jacob Black, but that hadn’t prevented him from hoping that she would seek him out. He would have liked the opportunity to comfort her in whatever small way he could. He looked at the stack of books and forced a smile. “You’ve been busy. Do you think you have time to learn to hunt?” he teased lightly.
“Important vampire skill,” she returned with mock seriousness, closing the journal in front of her. “I suppose I could make time.” She smiled at him, but he was still looking wistfully at the completed journals. “Edward, eventually, you can read those,” she said quietly. His head snapped around, then, and he couldn’t keep the surprise from his face. “Not yet,” she clarified quickly. “But someday – when it doesn’t hurt so much.” She knew she would heal. That the pain in her heart would fade, and she and Edward would be together, then. Maybe it would even be a lot like it had been before, if he could stand to stick around until then. But in the meantime, giving him permission to read those books would only hurt them both.
“You can read this one tomorrow, if you want,” she added, tapping the one she’d been working on when he came in. “I just got to the Italian restaurant in Port Angeles.” She smiled again. Edward smiled, too, and held out a hand. She took it, and he led her down into the deserted streets of Volterra. They scaled the city wall, Bella trying out her newfound strength for the first time, and then they ran through the woods side by side, beginning the hunt.
Mood: 
complacent
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