Part 1

I hadn’t expected to feel so light-hearted today. I was expecting to feel sullen, and maybe just a little belligerent. But somehow, as I made the trip to the Cullen residence, I found myself humming. My eyes in the rearview mirror seemed to glow back at me. I grinned.

I’d left Charlie behind with a hug, and he’d promised to make sure he was early, which was good. Generally we both hated formal occasions, but I think his relief that we hadn’t just eloped was overwhelming his usual annoyance with dressing up.

I’d been a fairly permanent fixture at the big white house, lately. If I wasn’t in La Push, feeding Billy and making sure the house got cleaned, then I was with Edward or Alice. It had been a very short month, between all the various duties I had taken on, and preparing for college. Renee had sent my belongings on ahead, and was arriving later this morning. Charlie was going to pick her up in Port Angeles. Phil had a game. His absence didn’t bother me nearly as much as it bothered Renee, but she’d been very brave about it on the phone yesterday.

I pulled my truck into their garage, well out of sight of any visitors. This was Alice’s request, but I think it came from Edward. Replacement stereo or none, I always got the impression he didn’t like my truck much. My smile faltered only slightly as it crossed my mind that it MIGHT be because it had once belonged to Jake. I pushed the thought away.

Alice was waiting for me at the door, and she pulled me by the hand directly up to her room. Jasper was standing at the window, and excused himself as soon as I arrived. He grinned at me, though, clearly pleased with my state of mind. I shook my head, knowing he’d be reporting that to Edward momentarily.

Edward had been ordered off the grounds for the day. Emmett was literally keeping him out of mental ‘hearing’ distance by force. Alice had been absolutely adamant that he would not see me before the moment I appeared at the back door of the house to begin my walk toward the river. Her plan included, but was not limited to, preventing me from so much as TRYING ON the dress she’d designed for me. Also, she intended to help me with hair and makeup throughout the morning, but when it came time to put on the dress, she was going to zip it from behind and then leave me alone in the room until it was time. She was frankly obsessive about keeping Edward from seeing me in the dress before it was time.

Edward and I had spent most of the month between our engagement and this day teasing Alice mercilessly – threatening all the different ways we could defy her mandate. She’d taken it well, but any time we’d crossed the line and seemed too serious, she’d gotten pouty and made us promise. Still, it had been an endearing game that had brought all three of us closer. I would miss it, after today.

The morning passed slowly. Alice let me know when Charlie arrived, and a few moments later, Carlisle led him up to us. I was wearing a bathrobe, and Alice was dithering over what color of eye shadow I should wear. Just as he came in the door, I pointed to the dusky blue in her left hand, and she grinned. “I thought so, too!”

Charlie hugged me awkwardly, and told me I looked great, even though all we’d managed so far was my hair. Alice had made six different attempts before the current style seemed perfect. Then she’d sprayed it into place with WAY too much hairspray. It would have been a lot faster if she’d just used a fire hose and been done with it. Still, I did love the end result, so I bit my tongue and just thanked her. She beamed.

Charlie didn’t stay long. As soon as he was out the door, Renee came in. I thought this was odd, until I noticed that Esme was with her. Presumably, she’d been given the grand tour. Just like my mother to get sidetracked today. But I wasn’t annoyed. I knew Renee’s opinion of my wedding. I was lucky to avoid a stern talking to, for committing myself to someone at such a young age. I think the only reason she refrained was the obvious camaraderie between Esme, Alice, and me, as they began with the mascara. Renee stayed for quite a while as they fussed over me, and she looked more at ease all the time. Maybe she could see that I wasn’t just marrying Edward. I was joining a family.

Rosalie stuck her head in the door, finally, and exchanged a glance with Esme. That was all Alice needed. “Alright,” she said abruptly, putting a last puff of powder on my forehead with careful gusto, “everybody out.”

Renee tried to delay, wanting to see the dress. But Alice was not to be defied. Not in this. I laughed to myself as she herded everyone out the door. She closed it behind her with a thud. “You have fifteen minutes from the moment I zip you up,” she said, grinning so wide I was afraid her face might split right down the middle.

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, affecting a Southern accent. She laughed her high, tinkling laugh, then. “Close your eyes.” She did.

I went and retrieved the dress from the closet. The material was absolutely decadent. I shook my head, but reminded myself that this really wasn’t for me. It was for Edward. That made it worth the cost. I stepped into it, and turned my back to her. “Okay,” I breathed.

Alice stepped swiftly up to me, zipped the dress, and disappeared out the door, all in less than the time it took my heart to finish a beat. I swallowed, and walked over to the bathroom mirror. I could feel a slow smile creeping over my face. The fit was perfect. It FELT perfect, and it absolutely looked perfect. Edward would love it. Maybe, for just this day, I could feel like I belonged beside him.

A knock sounded at the door, and I glanced at my wide eyes in the mirror. Instantly it occurred to me that that was Edward, sneaking passed Alice to see me in the dress. I’d have only seconds to get to the door and show it to him before she could arrive and prevent it. It was a lovely game. I raced for the door.

When I opened it, grinning ridiculously, I’m sure, I looked up into a face I didn’t expect. I felt my expression turn to shock, and a dull ache thumped back into existence in my chest. My breath whooshed out of me all at once.

Jacob Black was standing alone in the second floor hallway of House Cullen, staring at me with a kind of sad awe. For a long moment neither of us said anything.

“Jake!” I finally exclaimed. “I’m so glad you’re back! I was – everyone was so worried!” I corrected myself quickly, but it didn’t matter. He knew what I was trying not to say. He always had. He smiled, though. It wasn’t MY smile, but I reminded myself that I couldn’t own a smile on his face. Not anymore. His eyes were roaming over the dress.

“I’m glad to be back,” he answered quietly, and he looked surprised to find himself saying so. He ducked his head, embarrassed, and then managed to focus on my eyes. I smiled a little in spite of myself. “I can’t stay. Embry and Quil are here, though.”

My face must have fallen. “Sorry,” he added, “that was the agreement. I’m not allowed to hang around and give away the game. ” He gestured toward my dress, and I understood. Alice had told him he could come up, as long as he didn’t allow Edward to see it in his mind. He would have to go before Edward came back, which would be very soon. I nodded.

“I wanted a chance to give you your present.” He handed me a rolled up paper. I saw his eyes linger on my bracelet as I accepted it from him, but he didn’t comment. The little wolf he had carved for me still dangled there. I never took it off. I never would.

The paper had the feel of being old, but it flexed easily enough when I began to open it. I paused when he continued speaking, more quickly, now. “I wanted you to have it before –“ he didn’t finish. Then he began again. “You know, so you wouldn’t have to worry today.”

“I don’t understand.” I looked up at him and his eyes glinted as though they might be wet. He shook his head.

“You will.” He reached up a hand as though to touch my cheek, but paused – so close I could feel the heat radiating from it. Then his hand fell away. On his face was still the sad smile I didn’t recognize. But it looked good there. I smiled back.

“Thank you,” I whispered, more because he’d shown up than for the gift.

“You’re welcome.”

And then he was gone. Not so fast that he blurred, but fast enough. I glanced at the clock. Edward would arrive in five minutes. In ten, I was expected to be waiting at the back doors. I looked down the empty hallway after Jake one more time, then closed the door to Alice’s room.

The vanity in her bathroom was still covered with all the various makeup products we’d experimented with. I shoved them aside, and smoothed out the paper he had given me. A few weeks previous, Edward had let me read the official treaty with the Quileute wolves. This was a near duplicate of that document. Only one word had been changed. And yet, it made all the difference to me. I felt my eyes fill with tears, and had to daub them away carefully – conscious of the effort Alice had put in with my mascara.

….not permitted to bite any unwilling human….

Jake had done this. For me. For both of us, so that we could remain friends no matter what. For several long moments, I could think of nothing but him. He was a better friend than I deserved. I took a deep breath and looked up into the mirror. Then I went back out into the room and found the veil Alice had draped across her love seat. I pinned it carefully into place. Drawing the lattice down over my face, I glanced into the mirror one last time, and went downstairs. Charlie was already waiting, his eyes on the doors that led into the back yard. I knew that as soon as I took his arm, before he even had time to turn his eyes to me, they would open, and I would finally be able to begin the life I had chosen. A life which promised to be better – more full - now than I’d had any right to hope. I could hardly wait.